Visibility

The horizon is always visible since I walked past it.
The sunset is bloodier once you do.

I long for the mountains to cover
even when the sky is blank blue.

Awake

My friend stays all night awake.
My friend stays all night standing up,
I can't see my friend during the day.
They fade away.
But they always come back.

As the ceiling drops on me the dark,
I look at my friend and they're looking back.
I put on some music.
That's the way we talk.

My friend stays all night vigilant
so I can sleep without a fright.
But I often wonder if my friend
is alright.

My friend stays all night by my side.
They kind of disappear when I turn on a light.
But I know they're still watching me
with their eyes open wide.

Fantasma III

(08/05/2012)

A lo lejos, en el muelle vi una sombra,
tu sombra,
esperando que llegase a puerto
de una vez por todas.

Desde sabe Dios cuánto tiempo,
por mí espera tu sombra,
que no tú.

Deseo terrenal XX

Lo entiendo demasiado bien.
Cuando tus patitas están volando sobre la tierra, retando a las estrellas fugaces a una carrera
y adelantándolas, mientras de mí te alejas.
Con mi corazón sobre el lomo, no importa lo mucho que te trague el paisaje, ya que contigo me llevas
sin que mis pies de aquí se muevan.
Lo entiendo demasiado bien, cuando te llamo y no regresas.
Sé que me escuchas, sé que te alegras
de ser amado
y llamado como si me pertenecieras.
Mas lo entiendo demasiado bien, cuando tu nombre resbala de tus orejas
incluso a la pristinidad de mi voz, tú objetas
que el mundo es demasiado infinito como para aterrizar de vuelta.

Lo entiendo demasiado bien, no habiendo sido nunca liberada de mi correa
y sin saber cuán maravilloso se sienta el desobedecerla,
sé que si yo estuviera
apenas tocando el suelo y ganándole a las siempre excelsas estrellas
no podría parar siquiera
al oír mi nombre pronunciado como si de algún lugar viniera.

Dolphin

I can't stop thinking about a dream I had some time ago.

I was in some alien planet, and there was war. People were running away from it by "planet-jumping", as in, teleportation to another planet. But in order to do this, they'd have to transform into an animal first.
Some alien person told me how to do it. "You have to focus on what you want to be. Once you become it, the place you belong to will attract you into it".
I looked up the clear sky and felt a tremendous urge to splash into it like it was an ocean. Briefly, but entirely, the desire for the touch of water conquered me. I couldn't think of anything else, and so I leaped with all my might into the blue. And as I did, I became a dolphin. As soon as I realised I transformed, the "jump" took place and I was falling into the sea of another planet. I could see the silhouette of an enormous whale below me. As all that was happening, I felt so immensely euphoric.

Not because I fled the war.

But because I escaped humanity.

I remember myself thinking, woah, I really did it ... I ceased to be a human. I felt so happy, so incredible, and foremost so, SO free. Like it was my deepest, most prohibited wish ever, finally coming true. In fact, the emotion was so raw I woke up. I just felt it for a couple of seconds. But I can't ever forget...

It may sound crazy, but it's true. There's a part of me that hates to be human. Because it means to be trapped. I always felt trapped. For being human means I can't truly choose how I want to live. There's something else that owns my whole life. A god. A system. A war. I so fervorously want to escape it...

Don't get me wrong, in spite of everything, I love and cherish my life, and I'm really happy to experience this world. But the realisation that I will never be free. It kills my soul sometimes.

I believe freedom to be the most beautiful thing to be felt. Even for only a glimpse of it.

Many situations had me feeling deprived of freedom throughout my life. When I was a kid, all the time I fantasized of becoming an animal and just fleeing from it all. There's a silent bit of me that still wishes that could happen.